Memory Eternal!

At funerals and memorials, Father liked to ask those present to share, if they could, something about their experience of the reposed. We didn’t have that opportunity at his funeral. To honor his memory and continue his tradition, I requested on Facebook that folks share something that I’d later post on this blog.  Here’s the result, very lightly edited for typos. If you would like to make any changes to what you sent, please let me know. I’m also glad to add to this collection, should you want to contribute. 

Thank you!

Matushka Magdalena

Bright Tuesday 2024


Over the 44 years that we were together, there were occasions when Moses said something that entirely changed the way I approached a situation.

Once, in the early years when I was complaining to him about my difficulties with my parents, he said, “Well, you’re a Christian, right? Can’t you love someone that doesn’t love you?”  

Around the same time,  I was unhappy with what I thought was a lack of recognition ( I think I wanted to be included more at the kliros). His observation, “The trouble with you is you think you’re something.”  [not an accusation, but just a comment on the high self-regard I suffer from]

When we were facing his serious illness, he said that he wasn’t afraid of the dying, it was the getting there that would be difficult. I said I hoped that death would indeed be painless and blameless, with a good defense before the dread judgment seat. And I hoped that whatever the pain involved, it could be managed with good care. He simply asked, “Is that what you think “painless” means?” Oh.  Indeed, he spent much of his time in the last year remembering many things he’d said and done, since childhood, that he regretted, repenting sometimes in tears.  

Magdalena Berry


When we lived in Missouri and went to Church at Unexpected Joy in Ash Grove, we had a Pizza place in nearby Greenfield called Aloha Pizza.

Saturday night was usually one of the busiest times at the Pizza place and, one Saturday evening, a couple from town came in and sat down. When I went over to take their order, they started telling me this terrible story about how they had gotten into a car crash and how their poor, grade school daughter was in the hospital in a coma and would I please pray for her?

I said, “Of course I’ll pray for her and tomorrow morning, I’ll tell the Priest at our Church and the whole Church will pray for her!” Then I went back to taking orders and making pizza and all for the rest of the night.

Unfortunately, by the next morning, I had totally forgotten what they had said to me and what I had promised them. I was standing at the cliros, reading and singing in the choir when, during the Great Entrance, Fr Moses came out with the gifts and prayed for the usual people he prayed for at that time and whoever and whatever situations that people had brought to him…

He turned and went back into the altar, then immediately came back out, lifted up the Chalice and said, “And for all those in a coma…” and turned and went back in.

My jaw dropped as I suddenly remembered what I was supposed to have told him. I went directly into the altar and asked him, “Why did you say that about ‘all those in a coma ‘?”

He said, “I don’t know.”

I told him about the family and their daughter and that I had forgotten to tell him about it…

And he looked at me and said, “That must be why I said it.”

This was not the only time that Fr Moses, I’m pretty sure without knowing what or why he was saying it, spoke directly to something that I was thinking about or worrying about or that had happened to me recently.

And I am not the only one. Others have told me about having the same experience with him.

All I can say is, Glory to God for all things! And God is wondrous in His Saints!

Steven Berger


Our tiny church was so beautiful. It was because Fr. Moses lovingly and meticulously tended to the icons, the cloths adorning the icon stands, the patterned rugs on the floor and all manner of embellishments. We marveled that when people came to visit and stepped into the church they would sigh and say “Ah this feels like home”, no matter if they were from Russia, Greece, Serbia, Romania…

When my young children filed into church each week, they loved to look for anything Fr. Moses might have moved or added to the decor. They would find something new, then smile and motion to their siblings; a sacred version of “Where’s Waldo”.

During the years I ran a homeschool coop in my home, Fr Moses came weekly to teach the children. The class took place in the afternoon when the preschoolers napped. One day, a tiny girl woke early from her nap and stumbled into the room where the older children were crowded around Fr. Moses, listening. She rubbed her eyes and pointing to Fr Moses, she asked , “Is that God?”

One windy day, two of my sons were playing a game of catch under a huge oak tree in our yard. Luke, the older boy, heard a creaking sound and looked up to see a large branch above his brother’s head about to break. He shouted to his brother to run and he did, just in time as the branch fell and crushed a fence near to where he had been standing. The boys told me the story and showed me the damaged fence. It was shocking to see how near my son had been to certain injury. The next Sunday, the boys enter the  altar ready to serve. Fr Moses greeted them then looked hard at Luke, patting him on the shoulder he said, “You know, Luke, you’re a good brother.”

Michele Latham


In the summer of 1998, I drove my car into a fescue field, parked it and got out with my two young children to walk. It was early in the season, June I think, but already hot. I was sweating as we made our way through an old wooded cemetery, passing mounded rocks and tired gray headstones. Graves of the Indians, Paupers and Slaves mentioned on the metal sign affixed to the Berry Cemetery gate. 

Finally reaching a tiny chapel that lay nestled under black walnut trees at the top of a rise, we found liturgy in progress. And during the homily on the gospel, a man who spoke in parables like Jesus. In words of an otherworldly plainness. It was a way of speaking, I would come to realize, that could as easily confound as astound, often reminding me of the hard saying of the gospel. Truth that Jesus perceived was offensive not because it was in fact all that difficult to accept or understand, as the disciples claimed, but because it exposed a weakness in their faith. 

When I saw him last, early in the day of his repose, Father Moses could no longer speak. It seemed that he was the listener now, relieved at last of the burden God had given him to speak. In all the time I knew him, I had only rarely seen Father Moses silent. And even then he was still speaking. That work of Father Moses’s was finished now, it was clear. And this new silence was work of a different kind. Work I was intruding on. Saying a brief farewell, I left him to it and went out to the kitchen where I could hear the familiar voices of his loved ones talking quietly over cups of perfectly brewed coffee, a sound I could not help feeling must be as good to his ear, if he could hear it, as to mine.

 In the wake of his funeral, the silence of Father Moses in the hours before death has stayed with me. It contrasts sharply with the sound of his voice as I first heard it, “Remember that Jesus loves you and that he’s mindful of you,” “It’s time to become the woman you propose to be, “Take your foot up off your brother’s neck,” “You think you know? You don’t know. You can’t see the tears that are shed in secret,” speaking a hard truth while he had time, knowing that even then the day was already far gone.

Cheryl Ann Tuggle


   Our nephew is a reader at the Russian Orthodox Church in Kansas City. He recently informed us of the passing of Father Moses. We know and loved and respected your husband since we first met him 1984 at the St. Herman of Alaska Brotherhood Monastery in Platina, California. Abbot Herman allowed my husband and I to attend all the priests conferences and met with and spoke with Fr. Moses many times. Throughout the years we spoke about the First Black Museum he was starting in Missouri and contributed to its formation. When I called him to tell him that we were recently back from Uganda where we were putting an orphan high school boy through school by sending funds for his education to his local priest, he said that His Church and fellowship would take over and help him go through school, which he did. We thank God for him in our lives and will cherish the memory of his jubilant smile. God Bless You.

Dr. Joanne Stefanatos-Hetzel and David Hetzel


I met Fr. Moses around 1975, he was just Carl then. I was a Methodist minister just out of seminary and working at a homeless shelter in Atlanta, GA. He was a Brown Brother in HOOM. (I still think it funny he was a Brown Brother!)

I pulled up to work one day on my 650 Triumph motorcycle, and this young black man in a long brown robe was standing on the porch. When I saw him, I knew immediately he came for me. I helped him get an apartment, we became fast friends, and we started Bible studies together. Eventually he gave me great advice about a relationship I was in and a year later I joined the Order.  He saved my life. Later, when I also became a Brown Brother, I learned it was the practice in those days to take a bus to a large city with only $100 to start a mission. His faith, advice, and courage inspired me and we continued to stay in touch over the years including personal visits and OCA Assemblies, and I hosted him and the Fellowship of St. Moses my parish. I am so grateful God sent him to “get” me. I look forward to seeing him on the other side!

Fr. Thomas Moore


Fr. Moses would say “Don’t compare yourself to others because everyone has ‘six’. Some people have three plus three, some have four plus two, and some have five plus one but everyone has six.”

After he was confined to the wheelchair, it was more difficult for him to get into the altar since the church was not particularly accessible. The chair was difficult to navigate through the vestry and made a racket crashing into things. The door was hard to close behind himself and, if no one helped, noisy and it seemed to me like he felt a bit humiliated. One day, he had successfully gotten into the altar when certain ladies arrived, wanting to make confession. They asked me to go in the altar and ask him if he’d come out. With utmost patience, he retraced his same steps, making a racket and whacking things but he didn’t complain or give any sign of bother. When he was out, his chair was too low for this older lady so she, displaying similar patience and sobriety, quite stiffly got on her knees. She was still too tall for him to put his stole on her head so she hunched further and this old lady confessed, bowed to the floor like a child. When she was done, father made to re-enter the altar but a line had formed (everyone wanted to confess if he was hearing confessions) and he stayed out, hearing confessions from a crowd of people, young and old, each one crouching on the floor in front of his wheelchair because they wanted to confess to him. They all humbled themselves, he humbled himself, and I got a big blessing from watching it all. When liturgy was finished, he came out of the nave and a man in a suit asked for his blessing and said, “Anything I can do for you?” It was snowy outside and the narthex was a muddy mess and father pointed under a small table and said, “You could clean up that mess”. Without a word, this man in his suit got on his hands and knees on the muddy rug in the narthex in front of everyone coming and going, crawled under a table and scrubbed a mud mess because he wanted to do something for Fr. Moses. It seemed like the kingdom of heaven.

The evening before I was baptized, I attended the service, made my life confession, and went home. At home, I remembered something or other I hadn’t mentioned in my confession. My thoughts started to trouble me quite a bit about this and I texted Fr. Moses explaining how I’d forgotten some things and wanted to make another confession in the morning. I was very relieved to receive a nice text back saying everything would be OK and I should arrive a little earlier than planned in the morning. I was surprised because the capitalization, punctuation, grammar, etc was immaculate when most people don’t put the time into texting to write that way. I had no idea he didn’t text and sometimes struggled with writing. In the morning, I arrived early but he didn’t come out of the altar to hear my confession. Everything went ahead just fine and, when I asked him about it later, he said he doesn’t text but I shouldn’t be surprised if the Lord can do miracles using technology. He also helped me to understand confession a little better.

He seemed to give the same sermon every Sunday. He would tell different stories or use different illustrations but usually included, “Judge not, lest ye be judged”, “If you do not forgive your neighbor, God will not forgive you”, and “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.” Once he acknowledged this by telling us that, if we would take this sermon to heart and begin to live it out, he would change to a different sermon.

His sermons also usually included the admonition, “Be good to one another” and “Be a little more than you have been” or “Do a little better”.

In case no one else has mentioned this one, I think it would be a blessing to record the story about Wallace White learning to read, his slaveowner threatening him and then eventually becoming an abolitionist. He used that story as an illustration not to judge others.

Fr. Moses was strict about whistling in the church. He said that nowadays we are tempted to snicker at notions such as “Don’t whistle in church” but our great God-bearing fathers (specifically St. Ambrose of Optina) said it attracts the devil and we should have some sobriety.

Father said that when he was released from prison, he went back to his old friends wanting to tell them about Jesus. One of them (father said this man was very bad) told him he didn’t want to hear about it, saying, “When you are the type of Christian that I am a ****** criminal then I’ll listen.” His friend helped him to check himself and become serious. I once asked him what came of this man and he said that, later in life, he wanted to turn over a new leaf but didn’t know where to go or how to start. We should pray for the servant of God, Yancey.

Father was very non-possessive. He would give away anything of his at hand; if you came to his house, he would take things off his shelves and give them to you. I was edified by this and impressed that he never asked for money like some religious leaders do. One day, I revealed to him that someone had offered me a job with a much larger salary. I was nervous because I know money is “the root of all kinds of evil”. He said he thought it was OK and I took the job. About six months later, he asked me for some money (to give to some one else). My thoughts told me I should be scandalized and lose my good opinion of him but I refused. Another six months passed and I was offered an even larger salary. He had asked me for money again not long before this (again to give to someone else) and I thought nothing of it. I was in the habit of revealing my thoughts to him and I again told him I was concerned about the temptation to love money and he said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m watching out for you.” at which moment I realized that he doesn’t care one bit about my money; he was taking my personal concern to heart and watching out for me in case I should be wounded by the love of money. I was very edified at his watchful care for me, a sinner, and his discretion.

One day, I asked Father for a blessing for some podvig or other. He didn’t say no but rather, “You know what we would do if we really wanted to imitate the saints-what is mostly neglected these days but is a lofty spiritual practice? Giving thanks in all circumstances. That’s what we should do.” Later that day, my back started hurting, which was unusual, and it got quite painful. For obedience, I was thanking God for this pain and humiliation. For a week it got more painful until I wasn’t standing up straight. It was a weekday festal liturgy in the month or so before he lost his leg. I was serving in the altar, trying to stand up as straight as I could and hide the fact my back hurt, and he was serving the liturgy and sitting down between litanies because his leg hurt. At the end of the liturgy, when he blessed me to take off my robe, my back made a loud pop and felt almost completely better. What was truly remarkable-I felt-was that, despite being a temperamental and belligerent person, when my back got better, there was sadness in my heart because I was getting such a big blessing from giving thanks in bad circumstances according to my spiritual father that I didn’t want it to stop. To me, this was a marvelous change effected by my holy spiritual father.

a parishioner


I met Fr Moses 47 years ago when his name was  Rev. Karl Berry, a minister in the Holy Order of MANS before we became Orthodox. He was a psychologically deep, streetwise counselor who could sum up conflicts within people in a savvy few words. One of the regrets a good many of us have is that we did not write down his quick insights into others,  and why bother when fresh new ones pour out of his mouth everyday with gentle good humor. 

      We were blessed when he and the future Matushka Magdalena, then known as Mary Rose, moved from Boston to our small community in downtown Atlanta. Karl and Mary Rose were co-pastors with me as we built the lay Christian Community in Grant Park in the early 1980s. We each had a discipleship group – three pastors, three groups, seven lay folks in each group, 21 people in all. This was the core beginning of what became St John the Wonderworker parish on Cherokee which is so vibrant today. 

       My assessment was that Fr Jacob Myers, in San Francisco, was the single best pastor we had in our Brotherhood … and that our community in Atlanta was singularly best in all ways! We loved that Atlanta community and didn’t mind bragging as much as possible while still sounding humble. Fr Jacob and Rebecca agreed to come out, and they led the community into the Orthodox Church while the Berrys moved to St Louis to lead the small parish there into the Orthodox Church. (I went to San Francisco, more or less trading places with Fr Jacob at Raphael House).

      The five years I spent working alongside the Berrys in Atlanta was fun and inspiring for me and others.The Berrys were the pillars of the young lay community.

       One example of Fr Moses’s good sense and command of the moment was when he was drying clothes in a Cabbagetown laundromat. He saw a woman walk out of an apartment building wearing no clothes.  She walked into the laundromat, went up to his dryer, opened the door,  pulled out one of his shirts and started to put it on. Fr Moses said, “Put that back.  Go home and put some clothes on! “ The woman never spoke a word. She took the shirt off, turned around, walked back to her apartment, put on some clothes. I said I don’t know, that would have thrown me for a loop. The gospel says if someone’s naked you clothe them. I would have been hard pressed not to let her take something. Fr Moses said “The problem wasn’t that she didn’t have any clothes. The problem was she was out of her mind.” Sounds so simple when he says it, but it was typical of his ability to confront insanity anywhere he went. No ideological overthink. He was animated by the truth. He said if you stand in the Truth – and not many people want to, he added- everything can be faced. That’s how Fr Moses was everyday, every conversation, with great humor, unless you were the one talking confusion or acting out of your mind.

Another time he visited Raphael House with the neck chains that were used by slave masters for transporting enslaved children. “We had them in our house when I was growing up. We used them for doorstops.” He didn’t give them much thought as a kid, realized later how unusual it is have something so shocking, so strange and historical as family heirlooms. 

Fr Moses gave me so much great advice that I took to heart but have long forgotten the specifics.To say we were close friends would miss the mark, not capture it at all. We we were brothers in Christ, the depth of that is sense shared by so many other priests and clergy over the years as well. Fr Jacob Myers was this way, both of them similar in this regard. I’ve met countless people who felt that Fr Moses had a special rapport with them, which is something we feel on our end. He was that way with everybody.

Fr. David Lowell


One story I remember is that, when we were in Detroit together, Father Moses worked in a drug treatment center in downtown Detroit. He would take the bus home at night. One night on the bus a group of young men started hassling Father Moses ( he was in his clerics) and out the blue there came a ragged giant black man from the back of the bus. He came up to this group pointing finger and shouting “no” to them. It was as if God sent a helper in the guise of this humble giant to his aid. I can fondly remember Fr. Moses chuckling as told this story.

Natalie Williamson


I remember Father Moses saying a short sermon at a wedding at St. Thomas. His advice to the couple marrying was: If your spouse and you walk on the road and one of you says, “Let’s go on the left side of the road,” don’t argue and walk on the left; if another says, “Let’s go to the right side,” say, “As you wish,” and go on the right side. Then you’ll have peace in marriage. That simple advice stuck with me.

Aida Zamilova-Judah


My most poignant experiences were the times he came to Nashville to show the effects of the pain and chains related to slavery. He was not only joyful in his demeanor but specific, engaging, and dedicated to showing the pain many suffered due to slavery. Missing his smile.

Presvytera  Marion Turner


Father Moses: Pray for me. Pray for my children. 

These are things Fr. Moses said, as I remember them:

Treat others truly the way we want to be treated. We must begin to train ourselves to see other people as saints. Loving kindness can be lasting long after us- these words come from the people who have learned not to put their trust into the worldly things. Otherworldly people are free from the ties of this world. It is a life of an adventure to see brothers and sisters in everyone. 

Fr. Moses grandma‘s words, “ I am not colored. I wasn’t dipped nor dyed. Iced water of white people isn’t colder than ours.” Relying on this world moves us further from God. In order to grasp the whole field with the pearl, we need to think differently, to cultivate a new way of thinking, how not to use this world to change. 

We want to be people that other people want to follow, to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 

Talk to yourself, ask yourself, “ How should I treat this person who I see on the street?”. 

Do not be ashamed of your life, repent. People are OK because we are children of God. He will never leave us. Be more of a man, don’t let yourself to be engaged into a conversation which is wasteful.

I need love, so I bring it to others. You made me love you, I didn’t. Society is not a guide to Christians. Love and keep praying for people. 

[We need a ] Look of acceptance and the kind smile (on our faces) We miss the love from God that our neighbor could give us. Be with people, take and give love.

 Be a helping hand. Accept a helping hand. Go the extra mile.

 Every time we say to Jesus, “I am sorry, forgive me” , He believes us! We make a promise, and consciously, deliberately break it. We hurt Jesus, he is bleeding. 

Meet people and share love. God gave us many gifts and He will ask how well we used them.

 Other people believe in Christ, but they have “missing pages” from their faith book. They don’t know Mother of God. The Holy Virgin doesn’t judge and can appear to anyone. 

Do not “tag” people, see brothers and sisters in everyone. Be a better man, than you are now, practice, no time for excuse. We have all the pages ( in the book of our, Orthodox faith). We have to yearn to be better. We are so bound up with each other that, if we connect, we feel each other. We all suffer, if one suffers. There are invisible wounds. Hard to get over own mind. Pray for people you have bad feelings about and check yourself to make sure you don’t judge. 

Fr. Moses advised to read the Philokalia in order to know how to develop a discernment – ability to distinguish who to flee from, who to help. But pray for everyone. Everywhere, where we go, whatever we do, God is with us. Our goal (and it is hard) – we have to want to go to Heaven, but we want little things, because it’s easier ( like politics). 

From the seminar with Fr. Moses on January- February 2021.

Natalia Forni


Years ago, when Fr. Moses had a museum, and Ginny Smith had a Coffee Shop (both in Main Street, Ash Grove), he would come get a Biscotti from the big jar on top of the pastry showcase. And always stayed to visit, sometimes say a little prayer. Also, he married my son (Robert Alan Carter and his wife, Deb, right there in the museum. The ceremony was beautiful with his words of love and wisdom. The day before Valentine Day was an easy one to remember.

Nedra Ann Barkley Bouling


A Seed Planted

Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.

John 12:24-26 KJV

Brooke wanted to visit Fr. Moses today. It was the first time we visited his grave. As we approached and while we stood there I began to weep. I was looking at the chapel, the birthplace of our parish, and looking at the icons he had Brooke hang up while he was in the hospital. I thought about all the tasks we would do for him when he wanted to tidy it up, paint it, reorganize it, etc. My heart broke as I realized the fact that there would be no more calls to us asking us to do this and that task for him.

Fr. Moses brought my family into the Church and was a loving father who taught us naturally as a father teaches his children. He showed us the Faith as a father naturally shows his children how to live by being a living template of what it means to be a man. He comforted us through many times of brokenheartedness. He cared for us even while he himself was in need of care. A recent story that someone told me showed me that even on his deathbed he was watching out for my family by giving this person instruction to do something for us, but told her to wait until he was “Home.”

We miss him greatly. We miss knocking on the front door and hearing him say, “come in, come in,” while he was sitting at the table on the computer. We miss him calling us to ask him to do something for him. We miss his voice. We miss silly jokes, Princess Bride quotations, and his laughter. We miss his homilies. We miss his impromptu words of wisdom.  We miss hearing his beautiful voice singing out parts of the Liturgy-we always loved hearing him say quietly, “though there stand by Thee thousands of archangels and hosts of angels, the Cherubim and the Seraphim, six- winged, many-eyed,” and then singing louder, “who soar aloft, borne on their pinions singing the triumphant hymn, shouting, proclaiming and saying…” We miss him.

We miss him and yet I am not despondent as I had thought I would be when we came close to losing him in the past. During those times my mind went to dark places fearing what I would be like when the time came. During the week leading up to his repose, I had broken down many times. Yet since he has passed I have had more peace than I thought possible. I feel/know that he is with us, that he is hearing our prayers and praying for us, and it is this experience which has given me the peace I did not think possible.

Fr. Moses was a true father to us and innumerable others.  We were all blessed by him during his life. I have learned that there a many who never even met him and yet say that they have been shaped by by him through his Facebook posts (he would refer to it has his “website”) and/or by his videos on Youtube. And even now we will all continue to be blessed, along with many more, through his prayers and through all that he has handed down to us in his life and words. I pray that my life might imitate his life inasmuch as his life imitated the Life of Christ.

I know that I have been given a great gift by having Fr. Moses be the spiritual father of myself and my family. I know that losing him is heartbreaking, but I also know that now, as the seed has died and been planted in the earth, an abundance of fruit will spring forth from this holy man.

John Pearlstein


My favorite quote of his that has stuck with me from childhood “Where ever you go, there you are.”

Julianna Campbell


One day Fr. Moses said to me: “It does not matter where you go, because you always bring yourself with you” – completely truthful.

Tatiana Goris


I could share one particular memory of Fr. Moses when he shared his own story if coming into the Orthodox Church and his family legacy. He spoke this with priests and others at the Diocese of the West Mission Deanery Retreat a few years ago. It was amazingly inspirational. The group I brought to the Mission Deanery from our church was deeply moved by his talk. I have known Fr. Moses at least 40 years of my life and have always regarded him as a true man of God. Memory Eternal to my dear brother in Christ.

Fr. John Tomasi


I had come from another jurisdiction after an absolutely horrible experience with a senior cleric in a position of authority who had abused me and my family and I was ready to give up. I came to Ash Grove just to figure out how to move forward when Fr. Moses showed me extreme grace and acceptance. At my first liturgy with Fr. Moses I told him that I was tired, hurt, and exasperated, and that I just wanted to stand in the corner and watch. He said “I’m sorry, we don’t have any corners in this church”.

When I was at my most frustrated I told him that I thought I was done with the priesthood and some of the megalomaniacs who often wear gold or jeweled crosses and he said “Fr. Samuel, it’s always been that way. Just be patient and wait and God will fix this. Until then you are welcome here.” Now, almost 5 years later, I can say he was right about everything. I will miss him until, God willing, I see him again.

Fr. Samuel Seamans


His laugh, his memory of oldies music, his gentle ways of correcting me instead of shaming me during my worst times. Always optimistic, a man of integrity, his commitment to his family history.

Rick Downer


My last conversation with him, he prayed for me as I drove to my new assignment in Wilmington, North Carolina. Father never failed to encourage me, especially in my work as a nurse. 

“You may be the only person to show your patient any kindness,” he’d say to me. 

He who had shown such kindness to me throughout the years. Always there with a gentle word and a twinkle in his eye. 

Memory Eternal Father Moses

McKayla Cochran


One week ago, Fr. Moses Berry, my spiritual father, friend, confidant, and co-struggler, went to be with the Lord. His life and some of his works can be found by clicking here. My departed Matushka Michaila (+3/13/12) and 12 others were led into the Orthodox Faith by him in 1993, with the help of Fr. James Dank.

 He and his Matushka Magdalena have been dear to us since that time. The first Orthodox monastery in Missouri was established from land he donated to the nuns back in 1998, that had previously been ancestral property from the 1800s. Since that time he has consistently been a guide and father to me and many others.

He became the first president of the Fellowship of St. Moses the Black, which emerged out of the Ancient Christianity and African American Conferences, where Black Americans have been discovering the riches of Ancient Orthodox Christianity, and Orthodox Christians have been discovering the depth of spiritual treasures from Africa and African Orthodoxy and the Black experience in the Americas.

Fr. Moses lived as a truly good shepherd in Christ-like fashion. He had a gift to see the good in the person in front of him and helped that person on their way. To the last week of his life, he was ministering and giving out of his suffering to whosoever would come to him. He was the one who kept “laying his life down for the sheep” (John 10)

Matushka Michaila and I were very close to both he and Matushka Magdalena. Because our marriages were a bridge of reconciliation, sometimes people would confuse who went with who! One of the most powerful lessons he taught me was to be ‘reconciled to my humanity.’ I needed to look at my father, mother, my generations and accept who i am. I needed to realized that each one was doing the best he or she could given their situation and find out what good came out of it. It reminded me of the words of the Lord to Jeremiah, “when you extract the precious from the worthless, then you will be my spokesman’ (Jer.15:19 NASB)

As he buried Matushka Michaila, we were present to bury him in the same cemetery on the 16th of January, 2024. Archbishop Daniel of the Orthodox Church of America presided. 14 priests, including two abbots, and one deacon served at this funeral service. Another three priests were in attendance. Over these days 40 liturgies will be served by priests who loved him across this country and abroad. Memory Eternal, Fr. Moses. With the saints give rest O Lord to the soul of Thy servant.

Fr. Alexii Alschul


Poem: Deep River

Memory Eternal Fr. Moses Berry

August 20, 1950 – January 12, 2024

By Mat. Elizabeth Perdomo

It is a deep river,

that great divide, that

wide Jordan which

separates life 

from life, time 

from eternity.

We weep upon 

Sac River shorelines,

upon that curved 

boundary

we cannot yet

cross. 

Here, while we hang

tears, weep lyres

of sorrow,

you sojourn away

from mortal homelands towards that eternal 

sacred campground.

You sing joy, but

just beyond our 

sight.

You no longer live here,

but now know clearly, 

see things beyond 

our streaked 

vision.

Even so,

today we mourn

with warm streams 

of grief. 

We remain

so bound up,

there will

surly be a day,

some other time,

when we will again

sing joy, once 

more together, 

forever.

13 January 2024 – Cayce, SC


Father Moses Berry, as he was known to most people, was a special Priest who in his limited time on this earth has gone full circle and found Christ as the Savior and the Orthodox Church as the true custodian of Christ’s teachings.  Following his acceptance into the Orthodox faith and subsequent ordination as a Priest, through his personal experiences and intellectual acumen, Fr. Moses witnessed Christ to everyone who has come across him.

My wife Tessy (Elizabeth) and I, along with our children Susan Doris Antony, John Lee Abraham, Michael George Abraham, their spouses, and their children all have interacted with Fr. Moses one time or the other.  Each encounter could be described as edifying in terms of our spiritual growth.  Even as he was facing serious health challenges, he held on to his faith, just as Job the Prophet did.  When asked how he was feeling, he would say with a smile, “I’m fine.”  He often reminded us “not to ask God why we face various infirmities.”  As the Book of Job so aptly tells us, “People must trust in God, even in the face of adversity, because everything happens for a purpose.”

On January 10, 2024, Tessy and I along with our son John Lee and his family were returning to Springfield from a trip to India.  En route we learned that Fr. Moses had received the Sacrament of Unction that afternoon, administered by six priests including three that had received the Sacraments of Baptism and Chrismation from Fr. Moses!

We landed at the Springfield airport that evening and dropped our luggage at our home.  Tessy, John Lee, and I visited Fr. Moses at his house.  He was struggling but recognized us, called John Lee by name, and prayed for us.  We, too, prayed briefly and said goodbye to him.  We never thought that it would be the last time we would see him on this earth, as he was called to his eternal home on January 12.

We sorely miss Fr. Moses.  While grieving, we also realize that he is with his Creator in heaven, watching over us and interceding for us. His memory remains eternal.  As we drive to Church every time crossing the railroad on Frazier Avenue and look across the field, we cannot escape seeing Theotokos “Unexpected Joy” Orthodox Church in the town of Ash Grove, serving the spiritual needs of so many faithful.  Indeed, the fruits of Fr. Moses’ labor is at work!  Praise God.

Yohannan T. Abraham


Thinking about Fr. Moses, his smiling face comes first.  Whenever we ask him “How are you Father,” all the time he would say “I’m fine.”  Never any complaints.

His typical advice was to “Not to ask God, ‘Why?’”

One of my favorite saying from Fr. Moses was his advice to Yohannan, “Treat your wife like a princess!”

Even on his death bed, two days before he reposed, we were fortunate to see him and receive his blessings.  When I think about him, I feel like he is still with us.  It is hard to think he is gone.

Father Moses, Memory Eternal.

Tessy Abraham


It’s hard to put into words what Father Moses was to me…

When their family first moved back to Ash Grove, Elijah and I became good friends at school and I was quickly taken into their fold.

I remember going over to hang out and Father Moses would give me little tidbits of knowledge. At 13 they don’t sink in as much as you realize they should have later in life. But he always was there. That winter my grandpa passed away, who for all purposes was my dad.

I think Father Moses saw that, and he took the initiative to make sure I had that role model and guidance in my life. I remember standing and lighting a remembrance candle in the little chapel by the cemetery, with Father Moses standing there hand on my shoulder, saying a prayer with me.. Looking for that peace after such a devastating loss. 

In him and Magdalena I had a place where I was always welcome, and I was always going to get solid advice. I was going to get corrected when I was in the wrong. Looking back I see now how much impact he(they) had on my teen years.

He kept me busy with projects around the farm, the cemetery mowing, the museum projects. He always put people in my path that would give me opportunity to better myself. Sometimes I stupidly squandered those, but he made them available, time after time.

I remember the great stories he would tell, about his heavy chevy Malibu, about figuring out a business painting appliances, meeting Magdalena, growing up on their farm, playing baseball with my grandpa.. He didn’t sugar coat things either. He was real, he was honest about his mistakes and failures, and yours too. But he made them all a lesson.

I remember when Elijah was living in New Mexico, Father Moses called and asked if I could run over and help with something. I got over there and he was wanting to load Eli’s motorcycle into a courier’s box truck to ship down there. After suggesting we just push it up the ramp, Father Moses  fired it up, took it down the street, and then came back… He allllllmost made it all the way up the ramp, before he gave it a little too much and popped a wheelie, leaving him and the bike on the ground next to the ramp. Now, a robe wearing reverend with a big flashy cross flying through the air on a bike like Evil Kneivel is not something most people get to experience, but thanks to him, I did.

He got up, brushed himself off and we pushed the bike into the truck.  He said, I guess that didn’t work, and went on with life. Two good lessons in one.

I also remember standing in the living room of their home, and asking about the iron shackles in a display cabinet. He then placed them on me, and I will never forget the humbling feeling of that. How horrible humans can be to one another. And how you can take adversities, then turn them into something so great, like a museum, a historical landmark, and a legacy of a life, like his. 

The last time we talked he was in the hospital, short of breath and tired. But even in that state he was giving me advice, not asking for pity, but giving that guidance, because he was a FATHER… a DAD. I see now that I’m older that he set my compass toward a Godly life, toward being a good human, toward being a good parent and spouse, though sometimes I mess it up, it always finds its way back to true north. 

I love him (and Magdalena) just like parents. They were there through so many growing pains for me, always with solid advice. They are my family and always will be. I thank Elijah and Dorothy tremendously for sharing them with me, even through my awkward “FUBU” years. 

I moved to another state after getting married and having kids come along. When I go “home” they are always one of my main stops I have to make. When I was deciding if I should take this leap, he was there cheering me on, saying “Why not? It’s your adventure!” 

So, while I miss him and his advice, it will always be near and dear to me, and guide me through my life. I hope I can always make him proud.

Joey Neimeier


Fr. Moses had a rare ability to help people feel calm and hopeful in the face of pressing emotional issues. I witnessed this effect when I first met him in 2009 at the Ozarks Afro-American Heritage Museum in Ash Grove, Missouri. I had recently begun a faculty position in the anthropology at Missouri State University and had read about Fr. Moses’ work. He and his family had recently restored the Berry Cemetery, which was established in the late 19th century by his great-grandparents for the burial of “slaves, Indians, and paupers.” Fr. Moses had also established the Ozarks Afro-American Heritage Museum (OAAHM), where visitors learned about the history, culture, and daily lives of Black Americans in the Ozarks through the lens of Ash Grove’s Black community. This community included his ancestors, who arrived in the 1830s as enslaved Black pioneers.

As an anthropologist interested in cultural heritage, I was eager to meet Fr. Moses and learn from his work. When a colleague offered to introduce me to Fr. Moses at the Ozarks Afro-American Heritage Museum, I jumped at the chance. On the scheduled day, I drove to Ash Grove with my colleague and one of our students who was particularly interested in Black history in the Ozarks. On the drive, the student told us that she was extremely stressed about her marriage. The young woman had an unconventional background. She had grown up in the foster care system and was now married, raising three children, and commuting 2 hours daily to Missouri State University while maintaining a 4.0 GPA. In the context of her coursework and daily commute, her marriage was under strain.  We listened attentively and offered supportive feedback, as we wanted to support this remarkable young woman in her academic journey.

When we arrived at the museum, Fr. Moses greeted us warmly, asking us about ourselves and then starting the tour, which took us through the lives of his ancestors and their world, and in so doing, gave voice to the Black communities that had largely been heretofore omitted – erased – from representations of the Ozarks. The family heirlooms, photographs, paintings, documents, and other exhibited objects were meaningful components. However, anyone who has taken the tour will tell you that Fr. Moses himself was the most important element. In leading us through Ash Grove’s Black heritage, Fr. Moses did more than provide a narrative of past events, places, and people; he revealed the personal experiences and transformations through which he came to reclaim that heritage. And in talking about ancestors, community, family, and self, he communicated an empathy and compassion that extended to each of us as individuals and as human beings. It was about the present as much as the past, about us as much as our ancestors, and about the web of relationships that connect humans in all times and places. As such, the tour was an experience of what it means to be human.

In the car on the way back to Springfield, my colleague and I were animated and chatty. Our student, who had earlier described her struggle, was calm and quiet, but then said, “I feel so much better now! I felt like Fr. Moses was talking to me personally about the relationship issues I am struggling with right now. I feel like I will get through  it all and my family and I will be OK.”

Over the next 15 years, I observed this phenomenon among many students after a tour with Fr. Moses at the Museum or the Berry Cemetery.  I recall an Indigenous student struggling with feelings of isolation, a single mom dealing with financial insecurity, a first-generation college student uncertain about his ability to succeed in college, and an immigrant student who felt out of place. I also recall myself – worried about raising my child, gaining tenure, or coping with the death of my mother. Each of us arrived for a tour or presentation and departed with a new sense of calm and confidence about our ability to persevere and even succeed.

How did the experiences with Fr. Moses affect these transformations? Was it his gentle voice and movements, which put us at ease? Was it his talent for storytelling, which fully captured our attention? Was it his sense of humor, which allowed us to see him as a “regular guy” as well as a cleric, heritage educator, and community leader? Was it his practice of looking each person in the eye and asking them a meaningful question, which created an inter-personal bond and communicated genuine interest in each of us? I still cannot say just what quality or combination of qualities account for Fr. Moses’ ability to make each individual feel seen and valued. I do know that this is one reason I miss him, and one way in which Fr. Moses still helps me make my way through the world.

Liz Sobel, 4/28/24

One day, early in my time with Orthodoxy, I visited father Moses at his home by the church in Ash Grove. He was happy to show me around his home, telling me about the history behind many of the antiques he had on display.

At that time, I was in a very dark place. I don’t mean to exaggerate, but it was by far the darkest time in my life. Many of my friends from church had encouraged me to reach out to father Moses. They told me about the many times they had called him on the phone when they were struggling through a difficult problem. As such, I was very pleased to be visiting him, and I opened up to him about some of the horrible trouble I was in.

He gave me some good advice and told me how to pray about my problems. I had recently started doing morning and evening prayers to practice the Orthodox lifestyle, so father moses also gave me a little Myrrh incense to take with me along with some firewood as I had run out.

All these things he had given me, though he new very little about me. I was almost a stranger to him, but he shared the beauty of his world with me.

Before I left that day, I asked him for help with one last thing. On top of everything else that was going on, one of my pets had recently passed away and he allowed me to borrow a shovel and to bury it by a tree in his field.

Fr. Ephraim’s family drove by and saw me digging in Fr. Moses’ field. One of Fr. Ephraim’s little ones saw me and asked her mother if she could bring me some cold water to drink. They came back a few minutes later and their little daughter brought me a big jar of ice water, handing it to me through the barbed wire fence. Her joy in helping a stranger was familiar to me. It was the same joy I saw in Fr. Moses.

It was a sweltering summer day. It had not rained for a week, and the ground was hard. I broke the handle of the shovel while stupidly prying at a stuck rock and regretfully informed him that I had broken his tool, but he just said, “That’s ok. Tools break sometimes.”

I hope that some day I can be a “Fr. Moses” to someone who is lost. I hope I can be like him and give of myself to someone else when they are in need. I want to be what he was: an oasis of God’s Grace in this dry dry desert.

Dace Robertson

The first time I met father was after a church service at ash grove. I had seen him at some joint services with St Thomas but we never spoke. My family and I had come to church after not going for an extended period of time due to a poor experience with another priest. I came to Ash Grove weary, suspicious of anyone in priest’s clothing if I’m honest. I went up to kiss the cross and father looked at me and said “Are you a model?” I couldn’t help but giggle. He broke the tension right away and it was the start of a relationship that would change my life. He would always encourage me in everything I did. I came to him with all my questions, fears, and flaws. He would tell me I reminded him of Dorothy in many ways, which I believe is the highest compliment he could have paid me. When it was time for me to go to college and I said I would be attending University one Nashville, Tennessee, he told me he had good friends there (the Smiths) and that they would take care of me. I later learned that he called the Smiths, told them about me, and asked them look out for me. The smiths always joked that they were told they had to look out for me or they’d be in trouble with Father Moses. I would come home over the years and he would always greet me with a smile, twinkle in his eye, and a hug. And sometimes a word or two, “My dear red is your color!” Or “You look stunning McKayla, and I can say that because I’m an old man.” When I called him to tell him I’d decided on my first job, I expressed some guilt at not moving back home to be closer with my family. He said to me, “Oh don’t worry about it. I think you’re doing good staying where you’re at. I wouldn’t wish Springfield on anybody.” The last time I spoke to him I was on my way back east to start my next assignment. He asked me, “How’s that nursing thing going?” I said pretty good and I was sorry I didn’t get to see him when I was home. He told me it was ok and then the physical therapist walked in so he had to go. He prayed for me and we said goodbye. I had no idea it would be the last time we spoke and I’ve never been more thankful for a phone call. So thankful for him and all he gave me.

MyKayla Cochran

Memories of The Foot

Most cultures have sacred and memorable sites, such as the Black Hills of South Dakota or Stonehenge. For me and many African Americans who’ve lived in Jefferson City, Missouri, one such place is The Foot. It’s more than just the convergence of two streets, Lafayette and Dunklin and the surrounding area. It was actually a repository of knowledge that has flowed like a stream to a once-thriving Black community.

Lincoln University, a cornerstone of the neighborhood, from its founding by Black Civil War veterans until at least the 1970’s, influenced its surrounding community through its diverse student body, coming from all over the country and actually, the world. A Nigerian student, courting my sister, made a dinner with fufu for my family in 1977. Chicago folks brought new ideas and styles to us. The Foot formed its own culture, quite distinct from that of the small mid-Missouri city around it.

I was six years old when we left our family farm in my uncle’s 1950 Ford to journey from Ash Grove to Jefferson City to live for a while with my maternal grandparents. As we pulled in front of my grandparent’s house, on the corner of Miller and Cherry Street, across from Donovan’s A.M.E Chapel and also the oldest Black-owned house in town (which was torn down recently to make way for an exit ramp for the freeway bisecting the community), I could hear the most beautiful carillon from Lincoln ringing throughout the neighborhood. If I’m quiet enough and concentrate, I can still hear it. In those days, it was safe enough for children to roam the streets unaccompanied. My brother Charles and I went to a actual swimming pool for the first time. There at the segregated city pool, we met a group of boys who I still think of fondly. When I was a teen-ager, the Lafayette and Dunklin intersection was a magnet that drew me up to the University’s steps. Bold old and young men gathered there, sharing folk wisdom and tales of woe.

When I hear that the few remaining houses on those once vibrant streets are in danger of being torn down, it feels as though a part of me is disappearing as well, the part that walked down Lafayette street past Wingy’s store and Mr. Johnson’s barber shop, past the hotel, where at one time Mr. “Meat” Caves made his residence. Nearby were Miss Leona’s restaurant and Mr. Turner’s gas station, and a number of beautiful two-story brick homes. There was Mr. Henderson’s cab company, which he started because often the White cabs wouldn’t deliver Black students to the University. This was a place formed before integration, where doctors and lawyers and professors lived next door to street sweepers and other ordinary blue collar workers as well as some downtrodden folk.

It seems like they’ve been tearing down this place for quite a while, but I can still hear the hot tamale man strolling along crying “Hot Tamale Hot Tamale!!” to his customers, and Dad Wesley, the produce merchant, advertising his wares displayed on a horse cart. 504 Lafayette was the home of Dr. Lorenzo Greene, the great African American historian. Mr. Charlie Robinson, a great Negro League baseball player, had a home in The Foot, as did William Ross, M.D, long time president of the local NAACP and our doctor. He was the first Black attending physician at the city hospital.

These are more than memories. They are testimonies to a vanishing culture – the self sufficient Black community, with its own professionals and merchants, a mirror of the larger society from which it was largely excluded, but complete within itself, nonetheless.

They’re putting up a plaque in Jefferson City to memorialize The Foot. Meanwhile the last remaining traces are being demolished. A way of life, and concrete evidence of its existence, is disappearing. At least two remaining houses are being threatened. How much better it would be to renovate and preserve them!

from NewsTribune.com, “The Foot named a Historic Legacy District” Anna Watson, Dec. 6, 2022

Memories of Fr. Roman Braga

The Gang Summit

I remember that sometime in the late ’90s, I was sitting in my house when I received a call from a spiritual child of Fr. Roman Braga’s, a fellow named Nick. It seemed that Fr. Roman wanted me to come and participate in a gang summit in Michigan. At that point, I hadn’t heard of Fr. Roman, but I had a strong feeling that I should do what he asked.

I flew to the airport in Detroit, where Nick picked me up and we drove to the monastery in Rives Junction. We arrived at night, where I was received M. Gabriella, who took me to my quarters. This was before the monastery was in its present state of beauty. It was raining and I walked across the muddy yard to what was then the sewing room, and had a peaceful night’s sleep there. In the morning I woke to the sound of the semantron – the call to prayer.

I made my way to the chapel and sat in the back as the Liturgy began. The time of censing came, and the priest, having censed all the people, neglected to cense me. Fr. Roman, in the altar, looked out of the curtain of the north deacon doors and saw this. He took off his epitrachelion and cuffs and came out to stand beside me. “Now,” he said, “if they cense me, they’ll have to cense you!” We stood shoulder to shoulder. I immediately felt his love and kindness.

Later that day, Fr. Roman, Archbishop Nathaniel and I went to an Ethiopian restaurant where we had lunch and discussed the upcoming summit. Fr. Roman seemed to know many of the customers and staff.

The Summit was quite an event. Many bands and musicians performed before I was scheduled to speak – rappers, gangsta rap and spoken word poetry. There were even two old Blues guys playing harmonica and guitar. My talk was supposed to be about “The Paradise of the Holy Fathers” Following those acts, I got nervous. I thought the crowd might mob the stage. I had visions of the Blues Brothers singing at the country/western bar where the patrons threw bottles at them.

My talk focused on St. Moses the Black and St. Mary of Egypt, as I hoped these two saints would appeal to the crowd’s sensibilities as being outcasts and throwaway children. It must have worked, because you could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium. After I stopped speaking, the silence continued for what seemed like an eternity but was only a few minutes. It was broken by a young gang member who stood and asked, in a commanding voice, “Why didn’t the White man ever tell us about this?”

After such a seemingly crowd pleasing presentation, I was not about to take the rap for that, so I looked out on the sea of Black youths, and there were only three White faces in crowd of several hundred: Nick, Fr. Roman and Archbishop Nathaniel. Pointing to the archbishop, I answered, “Because he didn’t tell you!” He stood up and said “St Moses the Black is one of my most beloved saints of the Church.” Archbishop Nathaniel continued, “As a matter of fact, we have a prominent icon of St. Moses in our church, and you are all welcome to come by any time you want!” And they, like the children they still were within, nodded in acceptance. Whatever charge could have been in that room dissipated instantly.

We returned to the monastery, feeling that God was with us, and knowing that if we gave so much as a cool drink of water to the least of these, we should in no wise lose our reward.

Further Recollections

After that first meeting, I became close to Fr. Roman and thought of him as my “spiritual father,” a term I’d heard used many times. However, I didn’t understand the depth of responsibility each party would have to take on in order to make this relationship work.

In the Spring of 2003, I was very disappointed with the progress that the Orthodox Church in America was making in evangelizing African American people. I once expressed this to a group of my White peers, and they didn’t seem to think that there was a problem and that God would sooner or later take care of it. It was obvious to me that Black people simply weren’t on their radar. I became frustrated trying to convince them otherwise and I actually felt disregarded by their lack of sensitivity to something so fundamental to me.

I was wounded, and after mulling this over for a few days, I decided to share my experience with Fr. Roman, who I was sure would understand and support me. After driving non-stop except for gas from Ash Grove to Rives Junction, I was received by Fr. Roman and began to describe my troubles. He said simply, “Fr. Moses, what are you going to do when the Communists come?” This stopped me dead in my tracks, because I knew exactly what he meant. If I wasn’t able to endure insults and misunderstandings from the good guys, what would I do if the bad guys showed up?

The monastery guest quarters were full, so as it was still early enough in the evening, I planned to start the drive home. However, Fr. Roman invited me to stay at his house, because he wouldn’t be there that evening and there was room. I stayed in his bedroom, which was small and sparsely furnished, with walls covered with murals about his life and coming to America. I think he did them, but I’m not sure. In any case, they were very moving.

Before I left the next morning, I asked him if he’d be my spiritual father. He quickly answered, with a small sober smile, “No. Because I don’t think you’ll listen to my counsel.” The next time I saw him was a few years later, around the time when the monastery had begun construction of its new church. I asked him again and he agreed. I didn’t really know what he meant the first time, when he’d turned me down, nor did I fully understand the second time. Now, however, I know more about the burden and responsibility of accepting someone as a spiritual child. I have taken on this role for some people and I bear the weight of their disobedience and its consequences.

In the following years, Fr. Roman grew increasingly ill. One evening I got a call from his sister, a nun, telling me he was going to have serious surgery, and asking me to pray for him. He reposed on 4/28/2015. I treasure the time I was able to spend with him, and always remember his enormous kindness and generosity. My troubles always seem small compared with Fr. Roman’s struggles in prison under the communist regime. When I am disturbed by some event, I hear him saying, “What will you do….”

How to get to Heaven

A week or so ago, I had the pleasure of giving a sermonette after the dismissal at Divine Liturgy. I did this because there was some dissension among the parishioners. Certain people were not willing to forgive one another and to make amends so that they could continue in their struggle for the Kingdom of Heaven. They were stuck in their positions.

I told them that they must forgive everyone, no matter what offenses were made against them. I even used myself as an example of how I was unjustly persecuted by the jailors when I was incarcerated as a youth.

The sermonette ended well, and people seemed to like what I said. Afterwards, during coffee hour in the church hall, a visitor from Ukraine came to me and said, “Fr. Moses, I really appreciated what you said, and I forgive the soldiers, because I myself was once a soldier and I know that sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to. You must wage war against the enemy whether you like it or not. “ “However,” he went on to say, “I will never forgive those marauders who pillaged my home and raped my niece. How can I forgive them?” I responded, “You must,” and he again asked, “How?”

“I don’t know – I wouldn’t even know how to go about it, but I would know that I must, if I wanted to go to heaven.” I responded.  He said he’d try, but just didn’t know how.

I gave him a little example from my life. My dad and his brothers once asked their grandfather, Wallace White, how he could forgive the slave owners and have a pleasant disposition around them. Some of those who’d owned him were now his neighbors. He’d seen his kinsmen raped, beaten, and sold down the river.  I imagine those young men must have thought him quite the subservient, ignorant old man.  He answered his grandchildren, “Because I want to go to Heaven.”  He was more interested in the Kingdom to come than the Kingdom of the present. 

After I told the visitor this story, he was silent for a bit, and then said, “I’ll try.” I concluded our conversation by reminding him that if he wanted God to forgive his sins, if he wanted to go to Heaven, he must forgive his neighbors’ offenses, no matter how tragic they were.

He returned the following week. “Father,” he said, “I think  I’m beginning to forgive them.”

Wallace White (third from right, bottom row) First Black man in the Missouri 6th Cavalry

Kids say the darnedest things

One morning, when I opened the Museum up, two White families came in to visit. One was from Dusselorf, Germany (they spoke excellent English). The other family was that of the political cartoonist of the Kansas City Star. Both had found out about the Museum through an Ebony magazine article which listed places to visit in Missouri.

During the course of my presentation, I had the occasion to speak about the Buffalo Soldiers and my uncle Harrison White, who, as a Buffalo Soldie,r fought with Teddy Roosevelt at San Juan Hill. In the midst of this talk, a little tow-headed German girl asked the best question of the day. “Why did they call them Buffalo Soldiers?” I answered, “Because they were fierce like buffalo and their hair looked like buffalo fur.” She looked at me, very puzzled, as if she didn’t get it. To further explain, I said, “Look at your hair – do you see how it is? Now look at mine! Do you see the difference?” “Can I feel your hair?” she asked as a little child might in their innocence, while her mother squirmed a little with embarrassment. “Of course!” I said. After she’d finished rubbing my head, I added, “Now can you tell the difference?” She was still puzzled about what Buffalo Soldiers could be.

So I broke it down further. “What’s the difference between your hair and my hair?” She pondered the question for a bit and said, “Oh! I know!” pointing to my receding hairline,”You don’t have any up there!” I realized that I was trying to show her the difference in our respective races, and she was seeing the sameness. The only difference to her was that I was going bald.

The political cartoonist from Kansas City had come to the Museum in part to present me with a wonderful pen and charcoal caricature he’d done of me. All the while I spoke with the German family, the cartoonist’s little boy (around 4 years old) was clinging to me, at times, even grabbing my cassock. He seemed to hang on every word.

After a while, their visits completed, the families left. The next day, I remembered that I hadn’t thanked the cartoonist properly for the picture, so we spoke on the phone. I asked how they were, and how his boy was doing. “Oh, Fr. Moses,” he said. “You made an impression on him!” He continued, “He’s been running around the house with one of my black t-shirts on. When I asked him why, he told me, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a Black priest, just like Fr. Moses!'”

Both of these interactions confirmed my belief that we must be very careful with children and make sure that the model that we set for them, which, trust me, they will always remember, is good and truthful.

A Double-Minded Man

In the summer of 1972, when I’d just gotten out of jail for selling drugs, after having found redemption and forgiveness of my sins in the confines of a 4 1/2′ by 6 1/2′ solitary confinement cell and having pledged myself to walk the straight and narrow, I was right back to my old habits.

I’d bought a farmhouse in Ashland, MO, just outside of Columbia, where I had people coming by, looking for marijuana. One day, I got a call from my childhood older friend, Yancy Bolton, who said he wanted to come around and sample my wares. He arrived in a powder blue 1971 Cadillac El Dorado.

Yancy was a pimp for a high-end clientele, which included some state legislators. He was accompanied by two of his ladies. At one point during the course of the day, these ladies began to giggle and speak out of turn. Yancy was infuriated and started to slap them around. I, still fresh from my recent spiritual awakening in jail, was horrified at this behavior, and I said to him, “Man, stop it! This is wrong!”

Yancy became very sober, looked at me with a calm intensity, and said, “Karl, when you are in line with what you propose to be, when you are as good a Christian as I am a pimp, then I will listen to what you say.” “Until then,” he continued, “keep your mouth shut.” His words cut me to the quick.

Not everyone is as hard-headed as I and has to get life lessons from someone such as Yancy, but I remember this day so well that I can tell you what I was wearing. I was truly convicted of my double-mindedness then. Yancy saw right through me and told the truth. (God help us to meet someone who will see us so clearly and speak honestly to us.) His words live in me, and so I have been struggling ever since to be in line with what I propose to be.

Yancy Bolton has passed away, and I keep him in my prayers as one who has helped me in life. “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Lord, have mercy on us!

Something Lost, yet Something Gained

In the fall of 1996, my wife Magdalena and I, along with our two children, were living in St. Louis, MO. I remember that year because it was the first time we’d ever gotten a brand-new car, after many years of old clunkers. I was taking the car for an inaugural drive across the Eads Bridge over the Mississippi into Illinois. I saw a priest standing by the side of the road with a box in his hand, desperately thumbing for a ride. I later found out that this was Fr. Dimitrie Vincent. He needed a ride because he’d been assigned to bring certain liturgical items to a diocesen convention being held in Belleville, IL.

I was intrigued by a priest fully dressed in a cassock with his thumb out, and I pulled over and asked if he needed help. “Yes,” he said, “ I need to bring these things to a meeting so they can conduct Vespers this evening.” “Of course, I’ll take you,” I said. He told me it was a good distance away, but I was up for a car trip anyway.

When we arrived at the hotel, Fr. Dimitrie said he wanted to introduce me to his bishop, and we went up Bishop JOB’s room. When we got there, I was pleasantly surprised by the bishop’s hospitality and genuinely friendly demeanor. He asked, “would you like a Coke?” And I thought that was the most gracious thing a hierarch could do. He didn’t ask who I was, or question me about my jurisdictional status, or anything of that nature. He only said, “would you like a Coke?” I gratefully received it, even though I wasn’t that fond of soft drinks then. When I was about to leave the room, Bishop JOB said, “If there’s ever anything I can do for you, just let me know.”

At that time, my friends and I were in an uncanonical jurisdiction, but were looking for a way to become canonical. We were appealing to diocesan bishops across the country in hopes that one would receive us. Some of us were taken in graciously by a particular jurisdiction (which will remain unnamed). Everyone received a formal letter of acceptance, except for me. I decided to write the headquarters to determine my status. I was told they’d decided not to accept my petition. On one hand, I was quite devastated because I’d looked forward to moving ahead. On the other hand, I understood, because I was perhaps lacking in qualifications. Then I found out, through the Dean of my area (who happened to be a close friend), that the real reason for the rejection was that “they weren’t ready to accept an African American clergyman. “ I felt as if I had been left out on a limb.

Then I remembered my meeting, years earlier, with Bishop JOB, of blessed memory. Now there was something I really needed from him. I called, and we arranged a time for him and a committee to interview me. The meeting was set for the last week in October. It was quite a grueling ordeal for me, as it felt more like an interrogation by the other three members of the committee rather than an interview. At one point, near the middle of our time, I was overcome with a belligerent spirit, in response to how I felt I was being mistreated. I said to myself, “to hell with this.” I made a statement: “If I should be accepted into the OCA, I’ll tell you one thing: that little red Liturgy book you use – I’ll never use it!” Bishop JOB responded, “ I don’t like that little book either!” Then I went on, even more belligerent, “I’ll never become New Calendar!” To which Bishop JOB replied, “I understand – we all used to be Old Calendar.” Then he went on, much to the chagrin of the others, “I’ll come down to your church at the beginning of November and regularize you all through Chrismation. Then before Thanksgiving, I’d like you to come to Chicago, where I will ordain you a deacon on Friday, and priest on Saturday at the cathedral so that you can get home to serve Liturgy on Sunday.”

It was so quiet in the room that you could have heard the proverbial pin drop.Then he gave me directions to the subway, so I could get to the airport and fly back home.

True to his word, Bishop JOB arrived in Ash Grove to regularize our situation. I felt a certain loss in the midst of this joyous event, because the last thing I ever wanted to be was “regular.” I never wanted to be normal. I never wanted to integrate with the mainstream, held fast by ordinary conventions. I was old enough to have remembered America in the 1950’s and 60’s when African American people integrated into the majority culture. There was an enormous gain, but perhaps as enormous a loss.

Let me explain. Before integration, many of us struggled hard to do the best we could with meager fare. We knew we had to be, as my grandfather used to say, “twice as good as they are.” In struggle, we built strong communities and churches. I felt that in becoming mainstream, there was a great temptation to think that now we could rely on “the system” to meet our needs, whereas we once knew we could only trust God – we were, in a way, forced to be “otherworldly.” I felt similarly about becoming “regularized” in the Church.

While it is and has been necessary, and a blessing, I feel the loss of a certain struggle. There’s a temptation to feel that we’re “ok” now, having been received, Once again, Bishop JOB had exactly the right guidance for me. At my ordination, he said, “Now that you’ve been accepted into the Church, don’t think that you’ve arrived! You’re still on a journey to freedom in Christ.” Words to live by. Memory Eternal beloved Archbishop JOB. +

Early visit to Unexpected Joy Church, Ash Grove Missouri

AND WHO IS MY BROTHER?

A young boy entering his teen years told me that he felt sad because he didn’t have any friends. He said that it seemed like other people had plenty. So, I asked him to sit down, and I told him the following story that I hoped would have some relevance to his sorrowful frame of mind. 

I was a young man, when Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated, and I became so disillusioned with society in general that I decided to “drop out,” as we said then. I stopped pursuing education, regular employment, possessions, status, and power, and genuinely looked forward to the dawning of an age when people would be kind to one another.  This particular worldview was defined by such outer trappings as one’s dress and hairstyle, and preferences in music and diet. Those of us who shared this outlook often used hitchhiking to get around. So, I left my little farm near Columbia, MO, to make one last cross-country hitchhiking trip before committing to a spiritual path (and that’s a story for another time).

I arrived in Albuquerque, NM, in the winter of 1973. On the highway, I was picked up by a Volkswagen van whose occupants appeared as if they, like me, had abandoned the regular world in pursuit of peace and love.  All went well until, somewhere in the mountains, a tremendous blizzard began. The folks in the van pulled over to a motel where they would spend the night. I, assuming that we were all brothers and friends, trailed along with them to the motel entrance. There they told me that my ride with them ended, and so I was on my own.

I walked back to the highway, a little disappointed, but at the same time overwhelmed with the majesty and beauty of the country around me, in all its stillness, the fallen snow glistening with moonlight. The snow was so deep that I couldn’t see where the side of the highway began. Only an occasional trucker, braving the storm, would travel the highway, but they passed me by. Finally, off in the distance, I could see the headlights of a fast-moving car coming towards me. I put out my thumb, and the car skidded to a stop – a shiny new Mustang Mach 1 fastback 350. The driver, a young African American man with a green bandanna tied around his head, opened the door. Heavy Metal music was blaring at full volume.  He said, “Where are you going?” And I replied that I was going to San Francisco to catch a plane to Hawaii. “How far are you going?” I asked. “Wherever you want me to take you.” We were then about halfway between Flagstaff and Phoenix, AZ. 

When we arrived in Phoenix, the storm had stopped and the temperature was at least 60 degrees. He turned down the music and began to tell me about his broken heartedness.  He’d just returned from Viet Nam, where he was a rescue soldier on a helicopter. They’d land in the middle of a firefight and evacuate the wounded. He’d seen so much bloodshed and disregard for human life that he was heartbroken. He told me all about his family and loved ones, who he no longer felt he could be in relationship with because he’d done so many unspeakable things. We wept together.

And somehow, through the grace of God, this conversation, which lasted hundreds of miles, came to an end just outside the Oakland airport. I’d found a friend, a most unlikely friend, although I couldn’t tell you his name. But I felt like the man, from Jesus’ parable, who fell among thieves on the road to Jericho, and those who seemed most likely to offer help passed him by. He was rescued by the Samaritan instead.

So, my beloved child, I concluded, true friends and neighbors are a gift from God and they show up at the most unexpected times and places. Then I sang him part of  a song – an Irish folk tune called, I think, “Mary and the Gallant Soldier” : “and when we’re in a foreign land, I’ll guard you darling with my right hand in hopes that God will send a friend to Mary and her gallant soldier.” I smiled, and we laughed together.

SAINT MARGARET OF SCOTLAND and the HAYLOFT

In the fall of 1995, I inherited the old Berry farm from my Uncle Lawrence. His mother, Grandma Berry, always said that she was going to leave the farm to me, so I could take care of it. 

There is an old family cemetery on the property, and soon I organized its re-dedication as an Orthodox one, “Holy Resurrection Cemetery.” Around a half dozen of my clergy friends from around the country came to participate in this momentous occasion. The weekend’s festivities included an outdoor Divine Liturgy to be served the following morning, but it started to rain, so we had to make other arrangements. After searching for a suitable place, we realized that the only available space was the hayloft in Richard and Sheri White’s barn in a nearby town. We decorated it with icons and lampadas, and placed some folding analogions. The smell of incense filled the air. It reminded us of the manger in which Our Lord was born. When the weekend was over, we departed in peace and returned to our homes. 

Later that week, I was picking up my 9 year old son, Elijah and his friend Brian from school, and we passed by a magnificent structure, St. Margaret of Scotland Catholic Church. We’d already passed our little storefront church, which was in a somewhat depressed part of the neighborhood. Elijah said, “that’s our church!” in a most innocent and proud way. As we made our way through the streets, I could hear the boys talking in the back seat. Brian belittled our church and compared it to the splendor of his church, St. Margaret’s. It took every ounce of effort for me not to help my son to defend his church. Then, to my surprise, Elijah said, “I have attended Liturgy in a barn, and it was every bit as lovely and holy as St. Margaret’s!” Brian replied, “Oh, I see!” and that was the end of the conversation. I was so proud to witness that which was hidden from men was revealed to babes.

Around the same time, my wife was working as a secretary in a large, historic Presbyterian church, in St. Louis’s Central West End. The sanctuary was beautiful, replete with Tiffany stained glass and an enormous organ. One day she took our 6-year-old daughter, Dorothy, to work with her, and they toured the building. In the sanctuary, Dorothy asked her how many people went to that church, perhaps thinking of our little storefront. My wife replied, “several hundred, I guess.” Dorothy looked around and said with confidence, “Well, if you include all the people in the icons, we have at least that many!” So great a cloud of witnesses she recognized!

Thus, we are reminded that God is everywhere present and fills all things. Sometimes we forget that in the most meager of circumstances, God is with us. “God is with us, understand all ye people, and submit yourselves, for God is with us.” (from Great Compline)

SEEING THINGS THROUGH A DARK GLASS

In the year 1982, before my wife and I were to be married, we decided it was time to pay a visit to our folks and introduce our respective mates. It was quite a few years since either of us had seen our parents. 

We left Atlanta to visit Magdalena’s folks in suburban Washington. We drove all day and arrived at their house in the early afternoon. We were greeted by her mother, sister, and brother-in-law, who cordially invited us in, with the warmest of greetings. As I viewed the house from the foyer, I saw her father sitting at the kitchen table with his back turned towards us. He didn’t make the slightest gesture of welcome. I started to consider how I’d react to his cold shoulder and seemingly obvious rejection of my presence. If he came towards me with malice, as I imagined, waving a broom and striking at me, I’d just fall on my knees to the floor and let him beat me. I would submit. After all, I was taking his daughter away.

After a very short time, which to me seemed like forever, he rose from the table and approached me with outstretched hand and a smile on his face, saying, “Welcome to our house!” He explained why he didn’t quickly come to greet us. You see, he was an amateur calligrapher, and he was in the midst of a letter stroke and didn’t want to stop for fear of blotting the ink. And I mistook the whole thing, as we often do. As I often say, we accept or reject people on the most flimsy evidence. Mr. Arkin remained exceedingly kind to me, and any difficulty he had, he kept to himself.

They set before us sumptuous fare. We had a most pleasant afternoon, and then started the drive back to Atlanta. 

A few weeks later, we made the trip to visit my folks in the Missouri Ozarks. We arrived at my mother’s house on Thanksgiving day, and all my siblings were there, and a few other relatives, and random visitors who popped in for a plate. Later that evening, while we were having dessert and coffee, my Uncle Delmus and Aunt Ida dropped by to give a nod of approval to this girl that I had brought home. Delmus, a slight wiry man who never minced words, invited us to take a little drive with him in his 1950 Ford pick-up. Magdalena sat in the middle, a rare honor, because Uncle Delmus was quite discerning about who he hauled around in his truck. 

After we had driven around for a while and returned home, parking in my mother’s driveway, Uncle Delmus turned to me and said, “Cat, you got yourself a good woman there. Sits there, keeps her mouth shut, acts like she’s got some sense!” Let me interpret: you have a good woman who’s not presumptuous and doesn’t have to put her two cents in on everything that’s said; she’s quite observant and conducts herself in a humble manner. From that point on, I knew that I had my uncle’s approval. 

After we had a good night’s rest, my mother insisted that we visit our old relatives in Greenfield, Mo. We drove to the little town, to a long-forgotten neighborhood where Black people had lived since the end of the Civil War. It was known as Long’s Alley, after my great-grandfather, Robert Long, a Methodist preacher affectionately called “Bakker Bob” because he chewed tobacco. He was the son of a slave, and he remembered when, as a boy, he saw Jesse James, the famous outlaw, as his gang rode through town. Robert’s mother hid him under the staircase of a building on the town square. He and others were the formidable people I remember from my childhood – who helped me develop into the man I am today. 

All that was left of that neighborhood were the tumble-down ruins of the stone masonry house that he’d built with his bare hands. On the very end of that street was a two-room clapboard house. My wife felt, as we drove towards it, that we were headed towards nowhere, as the little house was now surrounded by hayfields. I felt a bit of embarrassment, a feeling I hadn’t had for quite a long time. Here I was, taking my wife to the battered remnant of what I remembered as a vibrant community.

We knocked on the front door, and these two little old ladies in their ’90s, who were also children of slaves, answered. One was blind, the other didn’t see very well. We came in and sat on the sofa, and they were so happy to see me! I was from the generation that they had so such high hopes for. After we’d exchanged pleasantries and I caught them up on my life and where I had been, they offered us refreshments, which I quickly declined because I could see an open bag of Oreo cookies on the kitchen table of this house, that smelled of kerosene and chamber pot. But they insisted, and stood before me with a platter of cookies, smiling from ear to ear, knowing that these were something I’d surely enjoy. 

As I took my first bite, the taste of lovingkindness, the acceptable gift, filled my palate with delight. I don’t think I’ve ever had a sweeter cookie since. I will always remember that wonderful day in the country, when I first understood that a gift given from the heart was quite precious. Sometimes we look at our neighbor and only see what we imagine, like my father-in-law’s hostility, or my old relatives’ poverty, and we miss the real gifts being offered to us because of our own judgment. Let me reiterate: We accept or dismiss people on equally flimsy evidence and miss the gift before us.

photo: Two Dodd girls, part of my family, contemporaries of the old ladies we visited.